"I was going to say, impassioned: but perhaps you would have
misunderstood the word, and been displeased. I mean, that human
affections and sympathies have a most powerful hold on you. I am sure
you cannot long be content to pass your leisure in solitude, and to
devote your working hours to a monotonous labour wholly void of stimulus:
any more than I can be content," he added, with emphasis, "to live here
buried in morass, pent in with mountains--my nature, that God gave me,
contravened; my faculties, heaven-bestowed, paralysed--made useless. You
hear now how I contradict myself. I, who preached contentment with a
humble lot, and justified the vocation even of hewers of wood and drawers
of water in God's service--I, His ordained minister, almost rave in my
restlessness. Well, propensities and principles must be reconciled by
some means."
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He left the room. In this brief hour I had learnt more of him than in
the whole previous month: yet still he puzzled me.
Diana and Mary Rivers became more sad and silent as the day approached
for leaving their brother and their home. They both tried to appear as
usual; but the sorrow they had to struggle against was one that could not
be entirely conquered or concealed. Diana intimated that this would be a
different parting from any they had ever yet known. It would probably,
as far as St. John was concerned, be a parting for years: it might be a
parting for life.
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