"Not you. I'm fear'd you have some ill plans agate, that bring you about
folk's houses at this time o' night. If you've any
followers--housebreakers or such like--anywhere near, you may tell them
we are not by ourselves in the house; we have a gentleman, and dogs, and
guns." Here the honest but inflexible servant clapped the door to and
bolted it within.
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This was the climax. A pang of exquisite suffering--a throe of true
despair--rent and heaved my heart. Worn out, indeed, I was; not another
step could I stir. I sank on the wet doorstep: I groaned--I wrung my
hands--I wept in utter anguish. Oh, this spectre of death! Oh, this
last hour, approaching in such horror! Alas, this isolation--this
banishment from my kind! Not only the anchor of hope, but the footing of
fortitude was gone--at least for a moment; but the last I soon
endeavoured to regain.
"I can but die," I said, "and I believe in God. Let me try to wait His
will in silence."
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